He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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