weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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