I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
