Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
