im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
