She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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