I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
