Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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