Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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