I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
