1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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