I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
