I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
