what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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