just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
