dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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