If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
