What a fucking waste of an outfit
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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