i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
being pregnant is like rehab
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
