have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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