wrigley field is MILF paradise
Acid is not a monday night drug
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
