Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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