She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
