this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
