I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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