you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
