isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
