Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
It was confusing and full of hummus
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
