The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
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