The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
