She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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