Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
