I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
