so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Nicole vs. Life
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
