Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
