drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
My liver just broke up with me...
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
