And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
