I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
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