So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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