Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
