I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
