we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Come share oat with me in your robe
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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