you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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