One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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