how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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