Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
