She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
