im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
