I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
