Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Randomize
